Happy Mother's Day

To Jack, every celebration requires a cake. So he was a bit perturbed, apparently, when Mother's Day came around and there was no cake for me. So as I showered, he came up with this idea -- an orange, complete with candle, and Happy Mother's Day to You song. Luckily, he and Daddy had also shopped for a Mother's Day outfit for me, so I did eventually get dressed!!


I spent many many years avoiding church on Mother's Day. Our church makes a big big deal out of Mother's Day, as is only right and proper. But when it served as a reminder a) that I STILL was not a mother for another year and b) that I was seemingly the only one in the universe being denied this blessing that was "every woman's crowning glory", well, it lost some of its shine. A bigger person would have used the time to honor her own mother, or the women around her who served as mothers to her, but I am not a bigger person. I avoided the whole situation and nursed my wounded heart at home.

Now, of course, that's (mostly) overwith. It still hurts to be waiting to increase our family. It still hurts a little to feel on the outside of the "miracle of life" -- though with the help of dear friends who share honest details about the realities of pregnancy and childbirth, I'm feeling better about that all the time. There are little twinges of sadness, but those twinges are more than offset by the presence of my marvelous little boy. I am a mother now. It is the greatest, most incredible, all-encompassing, surpassing joy of my life. How do you put into words what it means to be a mother. Here is this perfect little being that you get to love and adore and watch over, mold, help grow and explore, shape, be with, play with, teach, share with. Here is a brand new human being who shows you the world anew, reminds you of things you have forgotten, tunes you in to things you've overlooked. Here's someone to whom, for at least a little while, you are indispensable. Who will always be indispensible to you. For whom you would do anything. Someone who looks to you for comfort, for answers, for strength, for confidence.

I adore being a mother. It is my greatest blessing and most enduring joy.

Mother's stand in the background. We let our children go out into the world, to school, to playdates, to sports teams and careers. We stand back and watch and bask in their successes. There is someone else in the background of our lives. Someone to whom we owe all the happiness we experience as a family. That person is Jack's birthmom. The beautiful, strong, courageous and faithful woman with whom God entrusted Jack for his first nine months. Hers was the incredibly difficult task of bringing him into this world and bringing him to us; ours has been the joyful, wonderful opportunity to love and to raise him. Anything and everything I could think or write about her falls short of the mark, turns trite and cliche. So I'll just say, Happy Mother's Day, Candice. Thank you for making all my dreams come true.